Empty handed but Alive!

Do you ever feel empty handed? 

Today I am winding down from my first day of clinicals yesterday at a skilled long term care facility.  This is completely a new work experience for me.  Completely new!!  A few things stick out in my mind from ladies in their 80's and 90's - "I'm sorry that you had to clean me up, I am so sorry; thank you so much, thank you so much." - "I like you." - "I have 5 children but 4 of them have died - why did that happen to me?" - "When you are 94 years old you just can't do things anymore." - "I use to tell my son what to do, now he tells me what to do."

Needless to say it took me a while to fall asleep last night.  I am processing the path that God has me on.  Not in a bad way, just processing.  I don't know if I will work in this type of facility or a hospital, but wherever it is God is definitely shaping me. 

I see God working in the life on my youngest daughter, now a freshman in college.  I see how much she is growing and learning.  Kinda blowing me away actually.  She is awesome.  I love hearing her tell me this morning how she was talking with another friend and telling him how thankful she is that we moved to Ohio.  She can see God's hand at work.

And I have to add my husband here.  He has been working at an inner city ministry and growing and experiencing ministry in a way that he never has.  Praying with men, teaching them how to communicate with others, talking about Jesus with them, talking men down from fighting...etc.  He is pretty beat when he gets home. 

The three of us living in this house are definitely facing some new ventures in life.  Change can create tension, tears and even fears.  But change creates joys, growth and new life.  Think about the changes in your life.  Can't you see how without that change you may never have reached the point in life you are at?

I love being in worship to Jesus through music.  I love just opening up my hands and being completely open and vulnerable before him.  Holding nothing back.  As I was blogging I was listening to a Pandora station and the following song came on.  Take a moment to just worship your creator.  He loves you and he is calling you to him.  If you have felt far off from God lately, remember he is right there, hands outstretched for you, hands reaching to take hold of yours.  Close your eyes, open your hands, open your heart and worship him.

The definition of Majesty is supreme greatness of authority; sovereignty.

"Empty handed but alive in your hands!"

Do you understand?

It's been a long time since I have blogged.  Why?  I went back to school and have been non-stop for the last 5 weeks.  This morning I sit in the living room listening to a worship song and am just blown away as I think about what he has done in my life.

I had a long talk with my sister last night.  It was awesome to catch up and share life with each other.  After I got off the phone tears filled my eyes as I came to this realization of how God has been moving in my life.

I begin with the huge gift of my new friends that I have met through The Daughter Project.  It started out with becoming involved in this non-profit organization that is building a recovery home for girls that have been rescured from sex tafficking.  It turned in to more than that.  It turned out that I would meet some of the most amazing women.  Some of the most vulnerable women - broken - freed - redeemed - and I love them all so much.  Then a few months ago I began to pray about going back to school and become certified as a STNA (State Tested Nursing Assistant).  I had two options - a 2 week intensive course, full time OR a 5 week class twice a week at Owens Community College.  I didn't know which course to take but I wanted to take the class that God wanted me to take.  So Tim began to pray and asked God to shine a light on where I should go.  As soon as he finished praying I happened to look over the bookshelf that was filled with Tim's books and saw the words on these books.  4 times!  Not only that but notice to the left the "student" bible.  I had my answer.

I have completed my couse, besides my clinicals and my state exam.  I don't know where or what kind of facility I will work in but I will pray and ask God to show me.  I am also completing another online class that will run the full semester. 

Sometimes God confuses me, sometimes I wonder what he is doing, sometimes I am just blown away how he takes my confusion and shows me the next step, shines a light so to speak and takes away my confusion.  Then the next unknown place in life comes along and we become stronger, sure we will still "wonder" and may even begin to doubt again, but if we take the time to stop and look back at how God has taken care of things we can know that he has a plan for our next step.

I was reading in John 13 when Jesus washed the disciples feet.  "He poured water in a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and wipe them with the towel.  He came to Simon Peter who said to him, "Lord, do you wash my feet?"  Jesus answered him, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand."   Something is going on in life and we are wondering why it's happening, what God has in mind - let's remember Jesus words here. "Afterward you will understand!"  God has had me in many circumstances where he wants me to just trust him when I don't understand.  How comforting that he says to me that afterward I will understand.  The definition of an aha moment is "a moment of clarity."  I think God does that with us.  We all of a sudden have that moment when we get it.

Thank Jesus today.  Run to him.