I am back - for now at least!

It has been a long time since I blogged.  A long time.  But here I am tonight, sitting home alone after a long day of work.  Work - well that is a whole story in itself - as is my life.  Someone once told me that I am brave.  Well I can tell you that I don't feel very brave.  With a life that is walked daily in faith and some days a lack of the faith that I carried the day before.  Such is life I suppose.  Each day bringing something different, even different feelings, emotions and experiences.


My job as a nursing assistant is a tough job.  One of those jobs that pays little, your overworked, and you just plain work your butt off.  Some days I wonder why I am doing it under all those circumstances then God gives me a moment at work to remind me why I am there.  Yesterday there was a man who had just the day before returned from the hospital.  He is in rough shape, oxygen 24 hrs. a day and just alot of health issues.  I was walking past his room and noticed him sitting in his wheelchair and just felt compelled to stop in.  I knelt next to his wheelchair and asked him if there was anything that I could do for him.  He looked at me and said, "I am ready to meet the Lord."  Thus he opened the door and we began to talk.  He told me that he knows his Savior.  I asked him if he had a favorite bible verse and he said The Lord's Prayer.  I asked him if he knew Psalm 23 - he said not by heart - so I began to say it.  Tears filled my eyes as he began to say it along with me.  When we finished he said that he felt like I just prayed with him.  That night he was returned to the hospital.  I don't know how long he will live but I do know this - he will be in heaven and God placed me there to speak comfort to him.  So when I look at my meager paycheck I will remember moments like this.


Have you ever not liked what God was doing in your life?   Be  honest.  You know that God is working but it's just not the way you planned or anticipated.  Letting go of your plans is so hard to do.  You know the old saying "Let go and let God."  Easier said than done, right?  I wish I could say I had the answer all figured.  I ask you the question.  Has God EVER left you alone?  Is there a time when he would ever leave you?  God cannot leave his children.  He just cannot do it.  His promises throughout his word are true and he is faithful even when we are not.  I love Jesus.  I love him so much.  His love filling me up and I want more and more.  We can never reach the limit of knowing Jesus.  We can never get to a point when we have received all that he has to give.  We can never reach a point when we have experienced all his love, his kindness...his presence.  Sometimes when I am spending time with him, when I put everything else aside to just be in his presence I begin to just want more and I don't want to leave to do anything else.


You are loved more than you can imagine.  He will NEVER leave you.