Empty handed but Alive!

Do you ever feel empty handed? 

Today I am winding down from my first day of clinicals yesterday at a skilled long term care facility.  This is completely a new work experience for me.  Completely new!!  A few things stick out in my mind from ladies in their 80's and 90's - "I'm sorry that you had to clean me up, I am so sorry; thank you so much, thank you so much." - "I like you." - "I have 5 children but 4 of them have died - why did that happen to me?" - "When you are 94 years old you just can't do things anymore." - "I use to tell my son what to do, now he tells me what to do."

Needless to say it took me a while to fall asleep last night.  I am processing the path that God has me on.  Not in a bad way, just processing.  I don't know if I will work in this type of facility or a hospital, but wherever it is God is definitely shaping me. 

I see God working in the life on my youngest daughter, now a freshman in college.  I see how much she is growing and learning.  Kinda blowing me away actually.  She is awesome.  I love hearing her tell me this morning how she was talking with another friend and telling him how thankful she is that we moved to Ohio.  She can see God's hand at work.

And I have to add my husband here.  He has been working at an inner city ministry and growing and experiencing ministry in a way that he never has.  Praying with men, teaching them how to communicate with others, talking about Jesus with them, talking men down from fighting...etc.  He is pretty beat when he gets home. 

The three of us living in this house are definitely facing some new ventures in life.  Change can create tension, tears and even fears.  But change creates joys, growth and new life.  Think about the changes in your life.  Can't you see how without that change you may never have reached the point in life you are at?

I love being in worship to Jesus through music.  I love just opening up my hands and being completely open and vulnerable before him.  Holding nothing back.  As I was blogging I was listening to a Pandora station and the following song came on.  Take a moment to just worship your creator.  He loves you and he is calling you to him.  If you have felt far off from God lately, remember he is right there, hands outstretched for you, hands reaching to take hold of yours.  Close your eyes, open your hands, open your heart and worship him.

The definition of Majesty is supreme greatness of authority; sovereignty.

"Empty handed but alive in your hands!"

Do you understand?

It's been a long time since I have blogged.  Why?  I went back to school and have been non-stop for the last 5 weeks.  This morning I sit in the living room listening to a worship song and am just blown away as I think about what he has done in my life.

I had a long talk with my sister last night.  It was awesome to catch up and share life with each other.  After I got off the phone tears filled my eyes as I came to this realization of how God has been moving in my life.

I begin with the huge gift of my new friends that I have met through The Daughter Project.  It started out with becoming involved in this non-profit organization that is building a recovery home for girls that have been rescured from sex tafficking.  It turned in to more than that.  It turned out that I would meet some of the most amazing women.  Some of the most vulnerable women - broken - freed - redeemed - and I love them all so much.  Then a few months ago I began to pray about going back to school and become certified as a STNA (State Tested Nursing Assistant).  I had two options - a 2 week intensive course, full time OR a 5 week class twice a week at Owens Community College.  I didn't know which course to take but I wanted to take the class that God wanted me to take.  So Tim began to pray and asked God to shine a light on where I should go.  As soon as he finished praying I happened to look over the bookshelf that was filled with Tim's books and saw the words on these books.  4 times!  Not only that but notice to the left the "student" bible.  I had my answer.

I have completed my couse, besides my clinicals and my state exam.  I don't know where or what kind of facility I will work in but I will pray and ask God to show me.  I am also completing another online class that will run the full semester. 

Sometimes God confuses me, sometimes I wonder what he is doing, sometimes I am just blown away how he takes my confusion and shows me the next step, shines a light so to speak and takes away my confusion.  Then the next unknown place in life comes along and we become stronger, sure we will still "wonder" and may even begin to doubt again, but if we take the time to stop and look back at how God has taken care of things we can know that he has a plan for our next step.

I was reading in John 13 when Jesus washed the disciples feet.  "He poured water in a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and wipe them with the towel.  He came to Simon Peter who said to him, "Lord, do you wash my feet?"  Jesus answered him, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand."   Something is going on in life and we are wondering why it's happening, what God has in mind - let's remember Jesus words here. "Afterward you will understand!"  God has had me in many circumstances where he wants me to just trust him when I don't understand.  How comforting that he says to me that afterward I will understand.  The definition of an aha moment is "a moment of clarity."  I think God does that with us.  We all of a sudden have that moment when we get it.

Thank Jesus today.  Run to him.

Don't have a title for this one.

I love worshiping God in church.  I love singing songs of worship to him, it's one of the ways that draws me near to him.  I also love being in nature and worshiping God on a good hike.  I love sitting on the sofa with my bible in hand when a scripture jumps out at me and stirs in my heart.  These are times of worship for me.

This morning I was reading John 4, about the Samaritan woman at the well.  Jesus talked with her about living water, he talked with her about her life.  The Samaritans followed their own traditions rather than the Word of God.  Jesus said to her, "But the hour is coming and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.  God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth."  So if the hour was here for this Samaritan woman it is certainly here for us.  What does this mean?  I am not a bible scholar but I do know this.  He wants you - just you - to come to come to him, to worship him, with all your heart.

I was imagining what this woman at the well must have felt.  After the above words she said to Jesus, "The woman said to him, 'I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ.) When he comes, he will tell us all things.'"  Jesus said to her, "I am who speak to you am he." I feel like I would have broke down in tears.  Now she could understand worship.  The one to worship was standing right there next to her.  And you know what?  She didn't feel condemned either by Jesus.  He knew the sin in her life but he just loved on her.  That is what he does for you and me.  Blows my mind!

Last week we were at a family reunion.  About 60 of us gathered together for fellowship, games and devotions.  If your that family reading this, I love you all.  I want to share the following clip with all of you.  This is my father in law.  One of the most humble and gentle men I have ever known in my life.  A man of God, a sinner, a retired pastor, a father and a great grandfather.  This was his time of closing for the reunion.  May you be blessed.

Keep those promises alive!

It has just been way too long since I blogged.  I've been missing my quiet time in the word lately in the mornings.  Something that had become such a part of my morning coffee for years now has started to slip.  Time to get back into the rhythm.  I love this about mistakes - we don't have to beat ourselves up about them, we just have to turn around and start over again.

Lately I have been feeling really discouraged.  Looking at the life situation around and allowing every doubt or fear from the enemy to slip in.  Sometimes we need someone from the outside looking in to speak a word that helps you put things back in to perspective.  As church had ended on Sunday, the pastor shared just a few words that I so needed to hear.  He had been in a similar situation as us before so he understood.  He reminded me/us to just - "enjoy the ride, it may feel like you are free falling, but God knows where you will land.  He is laying the foundation."  Seemed to be just what I needed.  When you are "inside" a challenge it makes it harder to see the whole picture. 

Then tonight someone had a facebook post that read, "Never ever let the words of men, steal the promises of God."  How often don't we do that?  We are walking along confident that God is leading us then - bam - somebody shuts it down, throws into question the path you are on, the job you have, the move you made and you begin to doubt that God lead you in the first place.  Makes me think of Adam and Eve in the garden.  "Did God really say?"  Satan putting the question out there.  The promises of God - LET'S KEEP THEM LIVING IN OUR LIFE.

Today I was blessed to bring a lunch meal to the volunteer workers who are working on the home for The Daughter Project.  An organization that I am volunteering with.  They are building and operating a recovery home for adolescent girls who have been rescued from sex trafficking.  I was blessed to bring them a lunch - those guys working out in this unbearable heat, giving freely of their time to build a home, a place of healing for these girls.  The many volunteers who will still give of their time blows my mind.  It is a rather emotional work site to be at.  And those promises of God - may those girls be filled to overflowing with the promise that God loves them so much and that he does and will heal their wounds.  He will heal yours too.  Just ask him!

His love is marvelous.  The following song (a demo) was written by my son (in law).  He is working on a worship CD.  Copy and paste the following link into your internet browser.  Close your eyes, listen, and meditate on the one who loves you more than you can begin to imagine. 

http://www.facebook.com/lagodmusic?sk=app_178091127385

Siblings and Heaven

So this past weekend I drove for 24 hours in 4 days.  All by myself - my niece was getting married in Omaha and we were unable to attend until a few days before I got this feeling that I really needed to get there, somehow.  Knowing that my husband and daughter both needed both of our cars I called around for a rental and a few hours later I was on the road to my brothers house, then the next day to finish the drive to Omaha.  I was so happy that I went - all 6 of us siblings were together for the weekend.  It was such a blessing.  We are all so different and some of us don't know each other that well since we haven't had much time together in the last decade.  We had time to talk and share life and relationships are growing.  I will say this - we are so nice to each other and we treat each other with respect.  I hope my siblings don't mind that I put this picture on my blog but it's just too great not to share.  My sister sent it to me and when I looked at it I cried.  I love them all so much.  Isn't God just so great?!!  I can't wait for the next time when all the in-laws are there and we can have a picture with all of our spouses too.  They are my sisters and brothers too and I just love all of them.

You know, life is short and we never know when God will bring us home to be with him.  So I treasure my family - right now.  In a blink life here on earth can be done.  I heard the most beautiful analogy last week.  Think of what it feels like when you get home after a long vacation or trip.  You walk in the door and just breathe a sign of relief or you lay down in your own bed and just breathe that sign of relief.  I usually say "wow, it feels so good to be in my own bed and to be home."  Now think of this - when we get to heaven I think we will just breathe that sign of relief, that feeling of peace and rest will overtake us.  That thought makes death seem so much more peaceful.  We will at last be really home.

So for now, as long as I live on this earth, I want to live my life to bring glory to God.  I want to love my family and tell others about Jesus.  Relationships are what will matter in the end.  It won't matter the money we made but the relationships we had, the love we shared and most importantly - Jesus my Savior!!!

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

How about some encouragement!!!

This morning in church we were asked to look at the person next to us (which is usually your family) and tell them what you are thankful for about them.  It was actually really neat to look at the person in the eyes and speak truth to them.  I happen to be in the middle of my husband and my daughter.  I looked at my daughter and told her I was thankful for her testimony of God's faithfulness, to which I then turned to my husband who looked at me with a few tears in his eyes and told me; "I am thankful that you are walking this life with me, you are so brave."  Being the woman that I am, I too shed tears, partly because of his words to me and partly because I don't feel very brave.

I have a dear friend who began going through some tough medical issues about the same time we began this unknown leap of faith we are on.  I have found that many times we have called each other, or chatted on facebook, at times when each of us needed it.  Maybe she was scared and God had given me the peace I needed that day to help her.  On rough days for me she ended up being there to encourage me.  I would be blown away that she could lift me up when she was facing upcoming surgery.  Encouragement!  Isn't it just the best?

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Don't you find yourself drawn to people that just care about you or your situation without passing judgment?  There is an older couple at the church we have been going to that do just that.  We have talked maybe 4 times, they have prayed with us 3 of those times, prayed for open doors, provision and much more.  This morning we talked to them for a while and he said, "God has really had you guys on my heart this week, I would like your address so that I could send you some support."  I knew the love in his heart when his eyes filled with tears as he looked at us.  I feel drawn to people like this.  They have been such an encouragement to us and I will always be thankful for them. 

Lord, may we all be encouraging to those around us, to our family and friends and those we meet along the way.  Help us not to pass judgment on them, but to love them as they are, sons and daughters of the Almighty God.

Do you know Jesus?  He knows you by name.  He died for you and rose again to give you eternal life.  He is the son of God, your Savior!!!  He is the only way to heaven.  Romans 10:9 says, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."  It's as simple as that.

What are your plans?

"There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death."  Proverbs 14:12

I have learned this in many ways the hard way.  I have come to the point in my life when I don't want to plan out what my future should look like.  I have learned that it actually is a waste of valuable time.  If I took off running with a direction in my life that looks good to me it would fail miserably.  God already has a place for us - God already has our next steps prepared - God already knows what is best for me.  As soon as I begin to plan things out and try to take control is when anxiety begins to creap in. 

There is another Proverb that says "Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's will that will prevail."  This brings comfort to me.  So I will continue to bring my prayers to him.  I will continue to seek his will.  Our youngest daughter is registered for her first semester of college classes for the fall.  She will live at home.  I am excited for her and it leaves me also with "God please keep us living here" feeling.  Those are my thoughts, those are my feelings, but that's all that they are - thoughts and feelings.

I can tell that my husband needs to preach.  I believe that he has been annointed for this.  So I will continue to pray for him.  Right now he is working a job at Cherry Street Missions Ministry in Toledo.  It has been a hard transition for him as it is an area of ministry that is completely different for him.  Working with the homeless, the drug addicts...etc.  This is where God has him now and I believe that he will grow in ways that will blow him away.  And when God opens up the next door - well I think that will just be fun.

Are you waiting on some life plans?  Are you wondering what might be next for you?  Wondering about a decision you have to make?  Keep praying and rest in his hands.  Just rest there.  And when you have those moments, those days when you've taken it back on yourself, give yourself some grace - and bring it back to him.  He is already holding it.

Please pray for a clear direction for us.  Your prayers are greatly appreciated.